Mark Twain Quotes
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
