Mark Twain Quotes
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
