Mark Twain Quotes
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.Mark Twain
