Mark Twain Quotes
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - And stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove - Lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove - Lid again - And that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good - Natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
