Mark Twain Quotes
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
