Mark Twain Quotes
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good - Natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - - And then success is sure.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - Mindedness.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
